EU diplomats and officials have admitted that frustration with the UK’s opaque Brexit strategy is mounting, but insisted Europe’s position on Britain’s departure from the bloc remains unchanged.

Sandro Gozi, Italy’s Europe minister, told the Guardian there was growing concern on the continent that the situation “seems to be far from clear in London. And we don’t know what the starting basis will be in negotiations.”

Gozi added: “We really don’t understand what the real strategy is. It is very unclear what kind of Brexit they want. It seems there are disagreements and divisions in the cabinet. There are many uncertainties.”

Officials in Brussels rejected the idea that a sardonic letter from Donald Tusk on Tuesday to British MPs who had written to urge him to secure the rights of EU citizens in each other’s countries represented a new, tough line from Brussels.

“It is not about toughening up the points, it is about setting the record straight,” one official said, adding that the EU leader’s letter was simply consistent with repeated declarations that there could be no negotiations until article 50 was triggered.

But the official also pointed to a growing exasperation in EU capitals with the often opaque Brexit pronouncements of some UK ministers and MPs, saying: “I am not sure if they are misinformed, or if they want to be misinformed.”

The remarks follow a spate of recent comments that express irritation that Britain seems still to believe the EU-27 and institutions did not really mean what they said on Brexit and would eventually be won round.

Tusk’s pointed letter, in which he described the British MPs’ argument as “very interesting … but nothing to do with reality”, echoed similar observations by the prime ministers of Luxembourg and Malta.

The Dutch finance minister, Jeroen Dijsselbloem, described UK Brexit demands as“intellectually impossible and politically unavailable”, while Carlo Calenda, an Italian economics minister, complained that he was still waiting to hear “something that makes sense” from London.

The frustration is not especially over the time Brexit is taking: the EU would certainly like things to move faster, but has accepted that Britain needs time to assess its position and establish its negotiating goals.

It stems rather from a growing feeling that despite repeated assertions since 24 June, the UK government and pro-Brexit MPs still seem unwilling to acknowledge that what the UK appears to want from Brexit is not on offer.

In the days after the EU referendum, Brussels and many EU capitals said Britain should now leave the union fast to avoid unnecessary uncertainty and instability in a union confronting a range of urgent problems.

They also ruled out any negotiations – including EU citizens’ acquired rights – before the UK had formally notified the bloc of its intention to leave, and made clear that the EU’s four fundamental freedoms – free movement of goods, services, capital and people – were not negotiable.

Those positions have been reiterated countless times since. For Europe, asWolfgang Schäuble, Germany’s powerful finance minister has repeatedly said, when it comes to the rights and obligations of EU membership “there is no à la carte menu. There is only the whole menu, or none.”

Malta’s prime minister, Joseph Muscat, insisted: “There is absolutely no bluffing from the EU side, no saying, ‘We will start in this position and then soften up.’ No, this is really and truly our position and it will not change.” He said he had “seldom witnessed … as much convergence” between EU states as he had on Brexit.

In return, EU officials and leaders have heard Britain’s foreign secretary, Boris Johnson, insist free movement is not a founding principle of the union, and that the UK is sure to retain preferential single market access because of the importance of prosecco and BMW sales.

Theresa May has repeatedly said her top priority is to control EU immigration and remove Britain from the jurisdiction of the European court, while somehow “giving British companies maximum freedom to trade and operate in the single market”.

And this week, notes – apparently from a meeting at the Department for Exiting the EU – photographed in an aide’s hand in Downing Street appeared to confirm the Brexit policy of David Davis, the minister in charge, was to “have cake and eat it”.

Member states have had no formal sessions to hash out their Brexit position, although the EU commission’s chief negotiator, Michel Barnier, has briefed officials on his approach. But they have, thus far, shown near-total unity.

One senior EU diplomat told the Guardian: “So far, the unity of the 27 has been amazing. Back in July I thought, ‘Give it a month or two and it will all crumble.’ But the Brexiteers have managed to unite the 27 in a way I have rarely seen.”

That unity may well be tested once Brexit talks get under way. “The further we go into the negotiation … the more difficult it will be to maintain unity,” the diplomat warned. But for the time being, the European front is holding firm – and growing increasingly exasperated.

IMAGE: There is growing exasperation in EU capitals with the often opaque Brexit pronouncements of some UK ministers and MPs. Photograph: Philippe Huguen/AFP/Getty Images

For more on this story go to: https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2016/nov/30/brexit-rising-frustration-across-eu-at-britains-unclear-exit-strategy