September 24, 2020

The Editor Speaks:This is Fake News

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On a small island somewhere there was an election looming. The government of the day had done a pretty good job of governing this little country despite some of their members over the course of the last year abandoning ship.

You see, this little country was embarking on a new system of election and it seemed to some of the elected members that their best chance of getting re-elected due to the new system would be to say they were independent. Then, which ever party won the most seats they would be sure to come to them with the begging bowl.

At present there were only two main parties. The one in power we will call the PP Party and the other one the UU Party. The UU Party used to be called something else but changed their name to something very similar so no one noticed the difference.

Remember this is . In fact everything about the next piece of the story is fake and any resemblance to you may have read or heard elsewhere is purely coincidental.

A new piece of legislation was about to be passed that was supported by the affected respected bodies, two of which canvassed their members. The Proposed Bill was to affirm that the Earth was Indeed Round.

But……

There were some dissenting members, as there will always be. The smaller you are the louder you must shout. And they shouted and got the attention of one of the now Independents who had crossed the floor.

This member, we will call him AB, approached some of his friendly colleagues including the other member who had deserted, and outlined his plan. They would be able to debate a saying that the Earth was Indeed Flat. And all the members who had supported the Earth was Flat and belonged to these respected bodies had therefore been discriminated against. They claimed millions of dollars of money had been stolen by the various firms who supported the Earth is Indeed Round theory.

Of course this would be laughable anywhere else but you can say what you like in the building where all the laws that govern the country are passed. And I mean ANYTHING.

So they tabled the motion and their plan worked. They debated it enthusiastically. Despite warnings they were making their country a laughing stock and great harm was being done because the International Press had got onto it they were unrepentant. They were delaying the PP Bill.

To make it appear they were the shining knights crusading for their country two of them announced they were being trailed by private investigators from another jurisdiction. They said it was an attempt to make them uneasy and to find some dirt that lay beneath their finger nails.

One of them gravely announced in the Legislative House, “As a matter of national importance, I am therefore requesting that this matter be immediately investigated by the local police force, the Attorney General’s Office and the immigration department. I am convinced the actions of these individuals and their clients is a direct threat to the safety and well-being of members of this and our families and may constitute the breach of several laws, including the Immigration Law,”

Even when most of the people on the island were falling on the ground laughing they did indeed take their complaint to the local police force. Even with their limited manpower and with far more pressing things to do the police force had no choice but to investigate. Remember, it was of ‘National Importance’.

This, on an island where crime is the lowest of any country in the region.

The following statement from the police was received:

“We have jointly investigated these complaints with Immigration and have not been able to substantiate that any such surveillance has taken place. The complainants have been fully cooperative with our investigation and have been informed of these findings. Should any further concerns be brought to our attention on this matter they will be duly investigated.”

What will happen next?

Keep looking for more Fake News.

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