September 23, 2020

“Gas-tronomical” gas prices

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Recently, the price of gas has gone up approximately three or four times a day, depending on how energetic the person is who climbs up and changes the prices at your favourite filling station, until the only word for the skyrocketing astonishment is “gas-tronomical!”

Premier Bush is forming another committee to look into the situation. As a result of the dramatic revaluation of the ironically golden liquid, some surprising new players have entered the gasoline business. Tiffany has announced it plans to install a fuel pump next to the counter in which it displays its most extravagant diamonds. Cartier intends to retail the gaseous bauble in solid-gold thimbles. And DeBeers, the legendary diamond merchant, will promote its pricy petrol with a variation on its usual slogan, “A diamond is forever,” with “A tankful is not forever.”

On the other hand, average Caymanians, in an effort to accommodate the daily dozen or so price rises, have adopted new ways to get to work. One, called deep carpooling, requires commuters to stuff themselves into cars until their arms and legs are sticking out the windows. Another is to hitch a half-dozen or so cars together, so they can all move along with only one engine burning the precious fuel.

Others have once again opted for the uncertainties of mass transportation and, as expected, are often arriving at work late en mass.

But we Caymanians are a can do people, no matter how much a can of Middle Eastern oil attempts to grease the skids in our wallets.


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