February 25, 2020

Opinion: Why do Politicians become nasty when they get hold of a Microphone?


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By Jolly Green

Sorry, wrong photo of Ralph Gonsalves, lets try again. No microphone just medical marijuana trial splif.

The marijuana adviser and specialist chef told him “a splif a day keeps the doctor away”.


That’s the one, Red Ralph at his worst. Give him a microphone and someone to scorn or call nasty names on and he is way ahead of Hitler’s microphone image.

But how about his collection of Barbie dolls, here they are –

Yes, Louis Straker, the man who the Queen unknowingly knighted for services to the Gonsalves/Francis family dynasty. Held open a ministry in wait for Camillo and made sure to the exclusion of all other Vincentians he got on the ladder to all the appropriate government positions. Trained the boy in the leapfrog procedure.

What do you mean ‘Barbie’ he keeps them for making his phone calls to? We are not part of that Barbie collection.


The comrade is a film star now.

Whilst most of my emulators here have only one microphone, I have several.

My name is Adolph Hitler.

When I find out who wrote the song ‘Hitler has only got one ball’ I will ensure that all medical marijuana supplies are stopped.

I am responsible for eleven million Deaths.

These new fangled things called microphones are far from being micro. The string holding it up is also the latest technology.

My name is Vladimir Lenin and I am responsible for killing of six million people.

My microphone is the very best the Ruble can buy.

My name is Joseph Stalin

Under my rule, the Soviet Union suffered an estimated 56 to 62 million “unnatural deaths,” with 34 to 49 million directly linked to me.

I love my microphone, I used to be a bus driver not much fun, but certainly got to see the suburbs.

So far I am only responsible for about a 100,000 deaths of Venezuelan counter-revolutionaries.

But if it counts, four million have left Venezuela.

If anyone can get Ralph off the phone I would like to have a word with him.

So what is the connection between all these people?

They all have a microphones.

Jolly Green


DISCLAMER: The opinion, belief and viewpoint expressed by the author do not necessarily reflect the opinion, belief and viewpoint of iNews Cayman/ieyenews.com or official policies of iNews Cayman/ieyenews.com

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