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The wrong and right way to get ahead

There have been a number of wrong ways to get ahead on various blog sites and most are very funny but I do know from experience that some are very well tried and tested approaches. If you have any more that are not listed below I would love to hear from you.

  1. Be a “Yes Man”. In the time-honoured tradition of really sucking up to your boss and you have no particularly valuable skills nor assets to the company be the number one “Yes Man” (or woman). If you don’t do it one of your fellow workers will.
  2. Make sure you are at your desk when your boss arrives and when he leaves.
  3. Whenever a fellow worker comes up with an excellent idea jump in fast with “It’s been tried and didn’t work. However, let me play around with it.”
  4. Hurt your workers who compete with you on the corporate ladder by starting a few negative rumours and sabotage their work. Make some biting but funny remarks about him/her.
  5. If you have expertise in some obscure subject make sure you shower your boss with jargon he or she won’t understand.
  6. Make sure you do some minor charity work and publicise it. If you can get yourself a story in one of the newspapers like iNews Cayman so much the better.
  7. Find out what your boss likes and buy him/her a gift he/she wants. Do NOT give money – that is a bribe. (So is your gift but that’s different.)
  8. Clock in extra time doing research – surfing the net is a good one. This will show how keen you are.
  9. Always laugh at the boss’s jokes no matter how awful and unfunny they are.
  10. Compliment your boss every day for any reason you can think of.
  11. Find out what your boss’s interests are. Make sure they are yours, too.
  12. Last but not least tell his/her boss how good he/she is in front of your boss. That’s a real winner.

Please don’t think for one moment I am endorsing any of the above or I have stooped so low as to actually implement any of them now or have in the past.

Now for an equal number of suggested right ways to get ahead. Again, if you have any more of these I would like to hear from you.

  1. Identify your area of interest. Make a list of your talents and interests.
  2. Communicate your desires. Share your aspirations to your boss that you want to move up.
  3. Don’t ask too soon. Prove yourself in your present job position first.
  4. Be a team player. Understand the roles of the others on your team as much as possible.
  5. Network. Make a list of all the people you count on for success and make sure they believe in your ability to contribute.
  6. Seek out a mentor. Learn from people who have mastered their career you want to aspire to.
  7. Develop additional skills. Take inventory of what you can bring to the table and what new tools you’ll need to acquire.
  8. Don’t let money motivate you. Don’t judge things based solely on money and responsibility.
  9. Ask for feedback. Know how your work is being evaluated and get your goals and evaluations in writing.
  10. Make the boss look good. Become the technical expert in your field so that other people come to you for answers. This will ‘rub off’ on your boss.
  11. Don’t get caught up in the politics. Don’t stab people in the back or catfight to lobby for that particular position.
  12. Do it again! Remember that this career change need not be your last!

So what path will you tread? If you are more concerned with how far up your boss’s rear you are than with the results that you produce then you will ultimately fail.

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