From Greeting Card Poet

My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, “You’re tearing up the grass.” “We’re not raising grass,” Dad would reply. “We’re raising boys.”
Harmon Killebrew

 I think that my strong determination for justice comes from the very strong, dynamic personality of my father. I have rarely ever met a person more fearless and courageous than my father. The thing that I admire most about my dad is his genuine Christian character. He is a man of real integrity, deeply committed to moral and ethical principles. He is conscientious in all of his undertakings. If I had a problem I could always call Daddy.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

A man knows he is growing old because he begins to look like his father.
Gabriel Garcia Marquez

From Daughter

It is a wise father that knows his own child.
Shakespeare

The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get.
Tim Russert

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.
Harry Truman

It’s only when you grow up and step back from him–or leave him for your own home–it’s only then that you can measure his greatness and fully appreciate it.
Margaret Truman

Good Father’s Day Sayings

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.
Mark Twain

The greatest gift I ever received came from God – I call him Dad!
Unknown

Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad.
Unknown

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
Unknown

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.
Unknown

 My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person: he believed in me.
Jimmy Valvano

My dad, like any coach, has always stressed the fundamentals. He taught me responsibility, accountability, and the importance of hard work.
Steve Young

Hilarious

When you’re young, you think your dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he’s just a regular guy who wears a cape.
Dave Atell

On the perfect Father’s Day. There would be just Dad, wearing his oldest surviving undershorts, free of pressure, maybe just sitting in front of the TV, watching the NBA finals. There would be no conversation, other than Dad periodically observing that these players today could carry the ball across Montana and never get called for traveling. Of course, that’s not all. You’d also make a restaurant reservation, and at the end of the day, you’d dress up and go out and have a nice dinner, during which you’d propose a toast to Dad. Who would be back home, in front of the TV, happily asleep in his veteran underwear.
Dave Barry

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
Rodney Dangerfield

Me and my dad used to play tag. He’d drive.
Rodney Dangerfield

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, the second half by our children.
Clarence Darrow

Father’s Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it’s the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business.
Jimmy Fallon

My daughter got me a “World’s Best Dad” mug. So we know she’s sarcastic.
Bob Odenkirk

You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.
Jerry Seinfeld

Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.
John Stewart

Words for Husband

There are times when parenthood seems nothing more than feeding the hand that bites you.
Peter De Vries

Father’s Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it’s the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business.
Jimmy Fallon

There should be a children’s song: ‘If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep.
Jim Gaffigan

Amusing Quotations

My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo.
Bob Monkhouse

Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
Martin Mull

My daughter got me a “World’s Best Dad” mug. So we know she’s sarcastic.
Bob Odenkirk

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
Robert Orben

Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then, fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher’s mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.
Jimmy Piersall

Father’s Day Quotes

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.
Ray Romano

I gave my father $100 and said, ‘Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.’ So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
Rita Rudner

From Son

You can tell what was the best year of your dad’s life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.
Jerry Seinfeld

The only Father’s Day tradition in my family is the annual conversation he and I have where I say, ‘Hey, Dad, what do you want for Father’s Day this year?’ and he says, ‘Nothing.’ Then I ask my mom what I should get him and she says, ‘He likes sandalwood soap, dangly jewelry and Chanel No 5 perfume.
Michael Showalter

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.
Homer Simpson